MP (militarypenguin) wrote,

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New Year's Resolutions 2019

Is it too soon to be posting New Year's resolutions? Maybe, but I'm going to anyway.

Main goals:
  • Learn to drive
    • Fears and Challenges: Where to begin? I've been practicing driving since 2008 and it's always been a nerve-wracking experience, as is typical for most inexperienced drivers, but it reached a point where I sought professional help about it that concluded my anxiety and disability may have been what's handicapping me from driving safely. I still have many fears about driving from the possibility of facing a police officer to ending up in an accident, and the only thing that's making me reconsider it is starting up hypnotherapy with my therapist, and my...
    • Motivations and Goals: I'm weary of relying on others for transportation. There's places I want to go and people I want to meet up with, in short and in longer distances, without having to worry about draining my bank account or asking someone to take time out of their schedule for me. A newfound sense of freedom, independence, and happiness, is what I hope to gain from this.
  • Start up a WordPress blog
    • Fears and Challenges: I'll be writing about subjects that will dip into intensely personal and possibly controversial territory and, as such, I'll always be at risk of backlash or ridicule. Technically, I'm already at risk just by having an online presence, but setting up a more "professional" space to post opinion pieces is going to be examined with a more critical eye than what I'd throw up on a microblogging site. Writing these pieces (media analyses, mostly) will take a lot of work and energy on my part both in creating and editing them to make sure they meet my standards and what I believe will be the standards of most others. Regular output will also be a challenge.
    • Motivations and Goals: I have a lot of thoughts on my mind and a passion for writing; I want to hone both of these on a more regular basis and in a space that's explicitly dedicated to it. I feel like I've held back on words I've wanted to say for so long, out of fear of embarrassment that I'll mostly be talking to a wall, and as a result I feel like I'm not letting others see a side of me that I cherish. This is something I want to pursue both for fun, for solidarity (I'll very likely be writing articles connecting to trans issues, but sometimes that "Thank god, someone else feels this way" feeling is pretty great too), and to get others to think.
  • Increase my days at the gym from 3 days a week to 4 days a week
    • Fears and Challenges: Because of the change in my work schedule, as well as the trans masculine group I meet on Wednesdays evenings (I have to leave an hour after the gym opens again), I'll have to modify the original schedule that I was pretty satisfied with (Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays) to something else. Getting out of bed is harder work than any of the stations they have me work out at. At least one of these days (I'm shooting for a Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday schedule) will land on a work day (Thursday) where I'll likely be feeling too tired to want to hit the gym. One of these days (Tuesday) is one I'd rather just take the entire day off.
    • Motivations and Goals: I've been working out for three years, and my body has been seeing some enormous positive change from it...and I want to keep at that, and hopefully gain a body I can be even prouder of. Working out an extra day will be beneficial to my body but also my overall mood, especially knowing I've succeeded at taking 4 out of 7 of the days to work out.
Secondary goals: assert myself, leave comments on fanfic I've enjoyed.
Tags: life
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