MP (militarypenguin) wrote,

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I have fandom anxiety.

I'm going to be leaving for work soon, and this has been weighing on me, so I'm writing this out in hopes of lifting at least some of the weight off my shoulders.

This is related to Samurai Jack, but it's happened for me in virtually every fandom of an ongoing/airing series (Steven Universe is another big one). I get into the series, I get excited and happy over it, and then a big, game-changing story development happens that fans will either vehemently agree or disagree with. And I get anxious over the ones who disagree. It's not that they have "wrong" points or anything of the sort (and I've certainly been in the position where I've disagreed with story developments in the past, so it's not as though I'm trying to condemn them), I just have a problem where I absorb negativity like a sponge and carry it with me for the rest of the day, while anticipating more negative reactions. I get so nervous I physically shake and feel ill for a long duration of time. The worst part is, I'm not even actively digging through fandom for this stuff--I keep a safe distance between myself and it so I can enjoy it to the fullest. But because I frequent microblogging sites like Twitter and Tumblr, it's nigh impossible to avoid it because anyone can bring it up at any time.

(And dammit, I also don't want to miss out on all the cool fanart! That's why I still stick to those sites.)

It happens, over and over again, and I think at this point I may just stick to checking out completed series rather than ongoing ones. I may miss out on some of the excitement but it's seriously not worth the potential anxiety I'll go through. It sucks to hear the announcement of a series' continuation and having that feeling of joy followed up with "Oh no, what if other people hate it though." It shouldn't matter, I know, my thoughts and opinions are my own and no other different opinions can change that, but I don't exactly have an on/off button for my anxiety, and I feel this is the best way to "treat" it.

I'll still be following the series I'm currently following, I'm too invested to drop and watch them when they've finished, but as far as recs for continuing series are concerned, I'm going to give a tentative pass for my mental health's sake.
Tags: fandom
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